My Journey - How I became a Born Again Christian

I was born the third child to a chronic psychotic alcoholic. My father was a mad man; the police were frequently at our house weekly, and usually several times during the nights they had to come. Once he knew they were on the way he’d often strip to the waist and wait for them in the front yard, then the fireworks would begin as he’d take on as many as turned up for the show.

He terrorized the street and brought so much disfunctionality to our family. It made growing up kind of difficult.

I had just turned sixteen when my drunkard father suddenly and quite shockingly became a Christian. The change and gentleness was undeniably amazing. But, because of the years of shame I had no forgiveness in my heart for him. I never considered his pain, only his failure. My heart was too hurt and too hard; I didn’t care for his religion. Only a miracle could change my enthusiasm for the life of crime I had determined to live. Within three months at the age of sixteen I left home to join the merchant navy. I could no longer cope with either a drunken psychopath or a religious nut case. My father and I had never spoke until I was to turn eighteen.

Before this there were several things that shaped my view of God. In that already by the age of twelve numerous character forming events set me on track to be a mirror image to my father early years.

Abused at the age of four, lost my innocence at the age of eleven, selling pornography at the age of twelve, incarcerated for the first time at twelve, had hospitalized several people already and was banned from holding a driving license until I was twenty years old.

But, at age seven a catholic priest beat me up, then another one along with half his congregation when I was fourteen so that decided it for me. If this is God’s so called servant then God is a joke. He is either not real or if He is then I hate Him already. So I began professing to being an atheist. 
I soon grew to be an angry & frustrated young man. Pre-offended at everybody & everything.

A few years later an amazing thing happened. It was terrible at the time, but turned out to be the miracle that changed my mind & heart completely.

Hurricane in the Atlantic
I was on a ship heading from UK to New Zealand. Around seven days into the trip we were half way across the Atlantic in a ten thousand tonne, 200-meter ship and we ran into a beast of a hurricane. I don’t recall its name. As sailors we weren’t short of our own appropriate names for storms, but there again we pretty well gave all storms the same names, none of them repeatable here of course.!
By day one the ship was pitching and tossing and heaving hard over side to side. It was quite alarming to see such a big ship thrown about as the wind and waves would drive it. Several crew had taken up residence in the lavatory block since they were experiencing chronic seasickness. Surprisingly, I did not and would try to encourage those hung over the toilet bowls every time I visited there. It wasn’t long before it was unsafe to work out on deck and even though we had a big draft and high out the water the seas were mountainous and the wind made standing, far less walking on a heavily rolling deck difficult to say the least. The boson declared a state of “Baton down hatches” which meant we had to visit every cargo hold covering and making it double secure against the force of the wind. Spray was now ripping across the deck, stealing our words and stinging our faces. It seemed to get worse by the hour and was more than a little concerning. I laughed and joked as usual but inside I wasn’t sure this old ship would survive if this continued or got worse. I knew the North Sea was a rough sea but I could not imagine the 30 meter boats in our home town surviving seas and wind this big. Things were becoming worrying, if I had experienced weather like this on land I would have been concerned but here we were in the middle of a mountainous Atlantic Ocean and no place to hide.
Baton Down Accommodation
The bosun shouted the order with the wind sweeping most of the rest of what he said away. When I heard it I was confused, as I knew what the term meant but never imagined that it was a seagoing phrase still used today. I braced myself against the wind and motion of the heaving deck and moved to where he was securing some item. Both of us were soaking and dripping with endless salt spray. I shouted asking him what exactly he wanted me to do. He shouted back “it’s too rough, it’s dangerous now, we have to get the men inside and secure the doors! Hmm! Didn’t really want to hear that from an experienced sea salt such as him, hardly confidence boosting. However, soon all the deck crew were inside and we removed our dripping boots and oilskins. We all looked as if we had been dragged through a hedge backwards (British euphemism for “we looked a mess).
The ship groaned and creaked with every twist. We were told to stand down until further notice, which basically meant our time was our own. After showering and a change of clothes most headed to the crew bar to anesthetise any concerns we may have as to how this would end. After showering during which I had to press myself into the corner of the shower cubicle for stability, I dressed and laid on my bunk in my fairly large cabin and read. The violent motion and screaming of twisting steel plates continued all night. I jammed pillows under my mattress to form a hollow for me to lie in so that I wouldn’t roll about so much.
Following morning was no different and still unsafe to venture out so after breakfast I returned to lying on my bunk and read magazines. It was like lying on a wild swinging hammock that you couldn’t get off. If you stood, you had to stabilise and be careful, as the pitching was neither consistent nor predictable, so it was easier to lie down. About mid morning I heard the roar of what seemed to me to be a fighter jet. its approach and sound was similar to the aggressive roar I had heard at air shows. Then it quickly increased to what now seemed like ten jets, and then one hundred jets. The roar was deafening and confusing. I got off my bunk to look out the one inch thick porthole to see if I could see the source of the roar. I remember thinking, how could jets be this far out, how could they fly so low when the weather and sea is like this. All these thoughts were abruptly interrupted when before I actually got to the porthole suddenly the room grew very dark, as a dark shadow seemed to cover the porthole entirely. The ship lurched violently, then there was an almighty crash and the window burst in sending a roaring torrent of water gushing like a geyser into my cabin. The ship continued to tip towards portside, then the power failed and all the lights went out. Glass & crockery was smashing in the near by galley as the stacked plates were thrown out of their racks. I could hear several men screaming. The water kept torrenting in and seemed as if we were about to capsize. We had just been hit by a tidal wave. The seconds seemed like minutes as I braced against the roll. I had never seem my cabin at this angle before with about a foot of water still rolling ever higher up the walls. Alarming on many levels. My books, magazines and stereo system were swirling about in it. What an awful moment bracing and waiting, would it go over or stabilise?. At speed the boat suddenly rocked back into a deep ocean trough. We had survived phase one of being hit by a tidal wave, would we now survive phase two? It was clear we were not out of trouble yet. Once a boat has been pushed and survives the point of no return, sometimes the roll back is aggressive enough to tip her into the deep draft behind the tidal wave. The ship then becomes the victim of the following big wave before she has a chance to recover. A crazy angle one way and then a crazy angle the other way. What an awful few moments of my young life. Slowly, she heaved back again and we maintained the same ragged motion we had before the tidal wave.

The Deck Cargo is Loose
I stood in shock and could not believe what I had just witnessed. How could such a big ship be so easily thrown about? Water splashed around my ankles and the wind roared in the now useless porthole. I began to pick up my things as they swirled by my feet. I was still doing that a few minutes later when there was a knock on the cabin door, it was the bosun. He had his oilskins back on and looked as sober and grim as I had ever seen him. With a low and fearful voice he said “The deck cargo is loose”.. Oh No! That was the last thing I wanted to hear and certainly the last thing I wanted to hear. We survive a tidal wave and now the bombs are loose! How ironic “Get on deck fast” he said and he left to gather the rest of the crew.
The seven crew members that were sober enough to stand  gathered at the deck entrance door. As soon as the bosun pulled back the door levers, hurricane force winds ripped the door from his hands blowing it wide open. There before us was an awful sight and sound as 45 gallon barrel chemical bombs we had been warned about again and again rolled and crashed together like large cans of coke-a-cola on a moving tray. We could see that the side of the ship and the railing had been ripped and damaged by the power of the wave but not enough for the drums to just roll clean over into the sea and out of harms way. There was nothing else for it but for us to risk our lives for the sake of the ship and the rest of the men on it and somehow secure these drums.
The Prayer
It truly seemed that all hope was lost and that this was indeed a futile task.  I couldn’t lift one of these barrels to the vertical position on a flat deck in dock far less here as they were surging about all over the place. No one wanted to move, a couple of the older men were crying. I guess that it may be a little how First World War troops felt going over the top – certain doom.
I stepped back a pace from the thin line. Within my heart was the biggest battle. It was now or never that I make my peace with the God I boldly stated that I did not believe in. The God I blasphemed probably on an hourly basis. It felt like I had no option but to talk with Him. There wasn’t time for a big flowery prayer and besides I didn’t know one.  From my heart I simply said “If you will get me out of this I will serve you”…
I remember thinking “I will serve you”, Whoa that’s a bit excessive, I didn’t even know where a sentence like that came from, I don’t think I had ever heard of such a dedication prayer from anyone ever in my life. However, it seemed my offering had been heard; several decades later and I still cannot take in how quickly and miraculously the answer from heaven came as God replied to my cry.
This poor man cried and the Lord heard him and
delivered him from all of his fears - Psalm 34v6
Immediately it was as if I lost mental consciousness, I estimate that around one minute later before my mind become conscious again and I’m holding up a chemical bomb barrel. I see before me three other erect barrels and realise that since the crew are still standing under the cover of the accommodation block that I must have lifted those also. I look across at the men staring at me there eyes are wide their jaws are agape. I can see that they are shocked by my actions. I’m shocked and just as I’m reasoning “how did I get here? What happened? This is heavy I cant lift this”?, a powerful voice boomed out of my chest and rallied the men to action “Come on men, we can do this” I roar above the wind and the waves. As one man they sprang forward into action and in two’s began lifting drums till all were vertical and we could secure them. I continued to catch them in mid roll and flip them myself as if they were nothing. Much later I read the story of Samson’s great strength and wondered if something like that happened to me that day?
The Sea Calmed
As we finished and cable tied the drums in place, the wind dropped to virtually nothing? Weird as storms don’t blow out that way they usually taper off, especially a storm that had raised a huge tidal wave as recently as twenty odd minutes ago. The once mountainous waves were now little more than a meter high, which is quite a normal sea really, but within the hour that same sea continued to loose all violence and motion and had become as flat as a mirror, without a ripple? Storms don’t work that way either as once the wind has passed it can take a couple of days for the swell of the sea to calm down. One hour was unheard of.
The captain came down from the bridge and was clearly perplexed. He investigated the starboard side damage and said several times, its all quite extraordinary you know, never seen a storm just disappear before? One of the crew spoke up and said, “It’s the eye of the storm sir, always quiet in the eye of the storm”. The captain swiftly replied “It most certainly isn’t the eye of the storm, the sea still rages in the eye though the wind has dropped, and the eye is only for around one hour before it all begins again”. He told us to look around and said, “Look this storm has just disappeared, something of a miracle really”.  Hmm! That was not the words that I wanted to hear. One of the guys wanted his photo taken with me. In the picture which I still have today he is smiling, all jolly, death has passed him by, alternatively, I’m looking highly depressed as I cant get the words out of my mind “I will serve you”. I was convinced without a doubt that something miraculous had surely happened. The men said afterwards “George that was amazing, we were all wondering what to do, the situation seemed hopeless then all of a sudden you burst out on to the deck and in record time you flipped three bombs already. Couldn’t believe our eyes”.
Yes, I knew indeed that something quite extraordinary had occurred. I said nothing to no one. A long time later I read of how Christ had rebuked the storm and told the sea to be still and it was.
There were 66 witnesses on that ship that can testify to the extra ordinary events that took place. Six eyewitnesses of the bomb flipping, so that kind of miracle is difficult to dismiss.

I stood alone on the deck, the rest of the crew gathered in small groups engaged in excited chatter about what had just happened.  I spoke to God again,
”Ok God, so you are real after all, and you did hear me! Please be Buddha, or Allah but please don't be anything to do with that f*****g Jesus Christ.

We sailed onto Panama then onto New Zealand. My sins reached unprecedented levels of debauchery. I was not changed, did not know how to change..

God in his mercy was not finished with me. Long story short, six months later I am back in my hometown and I’m in a room with ten young Christians. They are all kneeling and praying that I would believe in Jesus as Gods Son, which I’d refused to do, choosing instead to mock Him and them. However they were all convinced God was after me to become a Christian so they held this all night prayer meeting and insisted that I be there while they prayed for me. I can't tell you how excruciating that idea was to me. 

So, I'm sat there arm folded, legs stretched out, feet crossed and I’m watching them all and thinking this is insane, they are all mad ... Then, a voice clearly said INSIDE my head BOW DOWN! Well, regardless of the fact that I was very anti-authority, locked up for the 1st time at 12yrs, I was full of pride and despised being told what to do. But, the command that I heard was not one to be ambivalent about. It was a command that I heard not an option. Without delay, I immediately got on my knees in fear of the voice. Just as soon as I did  Jesus Christ appeared right before me. I knew exactly who He was, His appearance was stunning! His face shone brightly like the sun, His robe glistened brightly, beyond the glow that emanated from Him.  He was surrounded with a beautiful blue.

You may think “how exciting”. I can assure you it wasn't exciting for me it was quite horrifying and terrifying and was about to get worse.

He spread His hands out to the sides and said with gentle voice "George, all this sin since I saved you, and yet  I love you and I have called you to do a special work for me" As He said that this black pit opened below His feet and it was packed with slithering serpents & snakes. I was appalled at the difference between this beautiful being, the most beautiful I had ever seen or even could imagine. He radiated grace compared to my filth, hatred & pride. Somehow it occurred to me in the midst of all this that the strange wailing I heard in the background was my own uncontrollable howling..

I saw all my sins from the time I’d asked Him to save me in the hurricane right up to the present moment. Every sin was visible and represented by the snakes that my sins had attracted! Small sins, big sins, secret sins.. However one sin was worse than them all, and if it was possible to be shocked more than I already was seeing this HUGE sin deepened my anguish because I was full of it. I didn’t even know it was a sin. But it was and it was the sin of SELF WILL... I thought it was right to stand up for myself, to be resistant, rebellious even.

He continued gently speaking, causing me to understand many things that I had previously denied. He revealed to me about creation and that, I never made me, neither did my mother, she simply carried me for Him. And that mother’s do not create their children they carry them whilst He forms them. And only He has the power and intent to do that, and that He had formed me for Him not for my own life and purposes and that my body belonged to Him, it had never belonged to me. He showed me that He had created me as He had all others for His own purposes and His glory and that the only thing that was mine was my will and my choice, and I had used it for hate not love, for evil not good, but that He was willing to forgive me. Oh I so wanted that forgiveness! Then He spoke and said that I would go through some very tough times. He quoted Isaiah 43v1,2 to me, which I did not know was in the bible until six months later when I came across it. He told me not to fear because He would always be with me and would not forsake me..

Then He faded and was gone. In a way I was relieved, as the entire experience was more than overwhelming! I lay there on the floor, broken, shattered, sobbing, mister big mouth, bighead, big shot drug dealer became a weeping wreck on the floor, and I couldn't care less about that. I was stunned, appalled, excited and in love with Jesus Gods Son. 
Eventually I got up on to my knees, the ten others were gathered around me, staring in disbelief. I managed to croak out a sobbed "Did you see Him"? No one answered they just stared. "Did you hear Him"? More staring, maybe one or two slowly shook their heads. Not one of these Christians had ever seen or even heard of this before except for stories in the bible. I didn’t know it then but I had been born again. I felt clean like a washing machine!! Quite amazing really that they were all praying that I would have a real experience with Jesus Christ as I didn’t believe He even existed, then in moments I had a profound introduction to Him

Decades later, years in the ministry and all over the world, I have had the honor to meet multiple thousands of precious believers and yet I have only met 1 or 2 that has ever had a similar experience as me.. Nevertheless, the many that I have met who have met Christ with far less drama are totally & sincerely saved.

Christ alone is who can help you, not church, not religion, but the one who made you for Himself. He will readily and joyfully enter your heart & life if you will only

a) Acknowledge that you are a sinner full of self will
b) Ask Him to forgive you for ALL sin & come into your life as LORD
c) Get baptised in water ASAP as proof of your sincerity.
d) Begin reading the bible to learn what His will is and begin doing it with ALL your heart, talking to Him ongoing ... He will talk back :)

My wife Jo & I (err several years ago)

continue reading " "


Have you found Him?
10 Aug 18

And ye shall seek me, and find me, when ye shall search for
me with all your heart Jer 29v13

Primarily believers “find” God for real, beyond mental ascent or token acceptance, in two different ways. Firstly, and usually, by traumatic crisis, an event beyond our control occurs and it presses us to our knees seeking His deliverance because no earthly help avails. Secondly, and usually, once we have found this God of miraculous deliverance, we begin to seek His lovely face through obedience and adoration. Once connected to Him its almost as if a God addiction develops and through love and a desperate longing in our soul we thirst for solace of the presence of the living God. The Psalmist wrote

I will not give sleep to mine eyes, or slumber to mine eyelids,
 Until I find out a place for the Lord, an habitation for the mighty God of Jacob
Psalm 132:4,5

Have you experienced that place yet? As mentioned, many of those that have discovered this Pearl of Great price, birthed that desperation for Him by discovering His closeness in crisis.

God is our refuge and strength,
a very present help in trouble Psalm 46:1

Strangely and wonderfully, in the agony of our pressing necessity … and if we are sincere! It somehow dawns that the cost of our urgent relief is to be found in the absolute yielding of our hearts, in a full and total surrender to Him … and that without any conditions. What we usually, do not at realise, that it is in fact His dear Holy Spirit already communing with us, whispering His unchanging terms of engagement to our souls.

As the last remnants of self will dissolve away before Him and with all other agendas laid down, it is here, at this exact point, in that involuntary come voluntary, not my will but your will personal Gethsemane moment, that our souls discern Him. He causes us to discover Him, which He is here already. Not only our peace IN the immediate storm, not just our deliverer OUT of the storm. No, more than that, far much more than that, Indeed, if we will hear it, He reveals Himself as the very purpose of our being – The storm almost becomes incidental in the light of the far greater truth, which is that in fact, we exist, by Him, through Him and for Him … What a frightening, amazing and wonderful revelation that is. What glorious truth we would never have seen, neither would our souls have been set free … had we not first been driven in desperation to His pierced feet.

In having found Him this way, an encounter with the Ancient of Days Himself it produces a sure and certain knowing that it is only He alone that can quench the deep longings of our soul…

Whether by crisis or intense devotion we have experienced the wonder of His presence, the indescribable refuge that the shadow of His wings affords, the stunning stillness of His secret place. …. Then and only then will His peace pass understanding and we glimpse the heart of the Eternal God.
                                                            O what sweet communion
                                                            O what blessed union
                                                            Yeshua is a friend of mine
                                                            Now His grace has found me
                                                            And His love surrounds me
                                                            It will last forever
                                                            Yeshua is a friend to me

With such bright light comes sad shades of grey in the realisation that “Christianity” as we know it, what it has become, is very different to the Holy, lovely and most awful God that you are now beholding.

Such encounters raise the reach of the soul to a far higher appreciation, thus rendering our present day “believerism” as a less comfortable fit. Time in His unapproachable light changes how we think, how we talk and live and it transforms our very being in the innermost recesses of our soul. Even the best of earthly fellowship may seem crude by comparison.

Such change does not go unnoticed among either our peers or the demonic realm. The discovery that previous friendships may not react as favorably as expected to our new and deeper love of Christ is sad to say the least. I have mourned the loss of many precious fellowships that much preferred the old me to the new me. I wrote about that in the article “The Forks in the Paths of our Fellowships”. It’s Not that you become an exacting holier than thou, but, more that you become a bright light in a dark place and your sensitivity to God and things eternal proves trying to those who prefer a lesser level of light and lighter conversation.

Interestingly, eagles fly in circuits with thermals and altitudes that their level of maturity can manage. We should not therefore be too surprised to find ourselves ready to forsake former norms and aspiring to soar higher, seeking the companionship of those who already set themselves to seek things above and have little time for things below.

One thing is certain, whatever the reason for your desperate necessity to find His beautiful face and to seek moment by moment to abide and bask in the rays of His glorious presence, that certain thing is change – Everything will change and change will be on going - Transformation from glory into glory even into the image of His Son.

Your walk with Him will become less talk about Him and more about actual delivering power from Him. This will probably prove a stark divide among the many believers that you know.

For the kingdom of God is not in word, but in power – 1 Cor 4:21
continue reading "HOW TO FIND GOD"




I was a young Christian of just around 9 months. I’d left the merchant navy as I wasn’t convinced I could survive the temptations of that old life style and besides I much more appreciated the fellowship of my new brothers and sisters in Christ. So, I committed my time to helping them with the new bible school they were building a few miles out in the countryside from my hometown.

This particular day I was up to my eyes in mud hand digging a deep trench for the drainage.

I’m mentioning this to show you that the Holy Spirit can whisper to you anytime or place and regardless as to how long you have been saved. Providing that you love Him and are seeking to please Him with you’re your heart. Then you can expect miracles as you walk in obedience before Him. You do not always have to be in your prayer closet for Him to speak to you. You should most definitely go there and often. Learn to love that closet. Our walk with the Master will only ever be equal to our time spent in His lovely presence.

Christ actually said “Pray in your closet in secret and your Father in heaven will reward you openly” Matt 6:6 and that might be in a ditch full of mud and you’ve got a sore back already. So, we shouldn’t be too bothered if we don’t hear Him in the prayer time as we wait upon Him. Sometimes we will hear in that place of prayer, and sometimes we wont, entirely up to the Master. However, He has promised we WILL eventually hear Him and see Him at work as a reward because we took time to seek Him and wait upon Him in secret just as He has commanded us.

Anyway, the lunch break was over and it must have been around 2pm.  I was back digging shoveling mud when I clearly heard the Spirit whisper in my soul “Duncan will be here at 5pm - Pray with him for the baptism in the Holy Spirit”. Oh I just love to hear His gentle voice. What a privilege it is that He would take the time to speak with us. Life is so full of excitement with the Lord, you never know what is going to happen next, but He surely does know what’s next, and its His desire to share that information with us. Scripture say’s “We are workers together WITH Him. His will comes to pass as we yield our will to Him so that He can work THROUGH us. So it’s very important that we have our heart and hands clean and ready and our ears trained to hear HIM when He speaks. My earthly hands were covered with dirt but my inner hands were as clean as I could keep them by daily calling on the Lord for help to stay out of trouble.

The secret of the Lord is with them that fear him;
and he will shew them his covenant Psalm 25:14

Knowing that I had a 5pm (exact) appointment I tried to get as much of that trench dug as I could before Duncan got there because then I knew it was time to set about kingdom matters.

Sure enough, after a while, I heard Duncan’s voice over my shoulder “Hello George how are you today”? And there he was looking down at me in my ditch. “Ah, Duncan”, I was told to expect you at five”. He looked surprised, looked at his watch, then back at me. “Yes, exactly 5pm now. How was you expecting me because I didn’t know myself that I would be here until just fifteen minutes ago”?  

He explained further that they had been plumbing a job a few miles away but without explanation the driver had decided to come back this route on the road to town so he had asked him to drop him off at the end of the lane.

I had no idea I was coming here today he continued”? He looked more than a little confused. His confusion then turned to excitement as I told him that the Holy Spirit already told me that he would visit at this precise time and that we should waste no time and pray for him to receive the gift God had for Him along with the evidence of speaking in other tongues.  I called out to another young lad that was working with us to join us and together we walked to the little caravan I was living in.

Once in, from my pocket New Testament I shared numerous verses with my friend regarding the gift of the Holy Spirit and the reason for tongues. I asked if he believed what the bible said and if he’d like to experience the power of the Baptism of the Holy Ghost and fire and boldness to be a witness. He nodded enthusiastically asking, “what happens now”. I said we pray now. I asked him as I did with everyone that I prayed with for the Baptism in the Holy Spirit, “did you notice that during our short bible study there, that of all five incidents listed in the New Testament whereby someone received the baptism of the Holy Ghost that they all spoke in tongues. Some also prophesied”? He looked at me with great earnestness and anticipation as I shared. It was hard to believe that in our earlier youth he and I had once been archenemies.

I explained how there was no set procedure for people to receive the Baptism other than Acts 8v19 which tells us that after the laying on of hands and prayer the people received the power of the holy Ghost. And since the Lord told me to pray for him when he arrived, that’s what I would do.

“Duncan” I said, “I’ll pray for you to be baptised but you pray out loud for it also. Focus on praising Christ and when strange words rise up inside your being just speak them out to the Lord ok”? He nodded his agreement and I laid my hand on his head with the young worker joining me. But, lo and behold, I had no sooner started talking to the Lord when Duncan himself bellowed out “Lord - Please fill me with your Holy Spirit”. Right there and then, as if invisible lightening struck him, he immediately began streaming forth a torrent of tongues at great volume. With hands raised and tears rolling down his cheeks he spoke to His heavenly Father in the tongues of men and of angels. We two certainly had no idea what he was saying. May people have said to me over the years “you shouldn’t speak in tongues unless there is one present to interpret”. In a public service that is correct. However, that verse should not be used as a cop out for not speaking in tongues at many other times, but read in context as to what Paul is saying. Not all tongues are for interpretation. Most tongues are direct intercession between the person praying and his Father in Heaven.

For he that speaketh in an unknown tongue speaketh not unto men, but unto God: for no man understandeth him; howbeit in the spirit he speaketh mysteries - 1 Corinthians 14:2